Willingness to Begin

<< I overheard this while watching the Olympics with my kids yesterday and I can’t stop thinking about it.

I’m pretty sure it was part of a Nike commercial, so congrats to their effective marketing team I guess.

I definitely regret that I spent so much of my one beautiful life on avoiding the things I wanted to try, simply because I was worried that I wouldn’t be good at them. The irony of choosing not to try at all is that I guaranteed the very thing that I was trying to avoid. By not allowing myself to be a beginner at things, I insured that I would never achieve greatness in those things either.

I didn't even give myself the chance to try and see what could have been possible.

I see my own kids doing this now and it breaks my heart because I’ve had the privilege of seeing what they are capable of when they choose to put their mind to something.

When my son asks me, "Mom, do you think I could make it to the Olympics someday?" my response is a resounding yes. Followed by an explanation of what it means to work REALLY hard for something that you want. I want him to believe in the impossible, because I know that is the only way he will push the boundaries of what is possible for him.

My son hates to be a beginner at things. He wants to be instantly good at anything he tries, and he often wants to give up even when he is showing improvement. I hope that my constant urgings to let himself be a beginner are seeping in and settling.

Can you imagine a world in which Simone Biles never attempted her first back handspring?

What if Adam Peaty hadn’t taken his first plunge into the pool?

How sad would it be if Noah Lyles and Andre De Grasse took a look at Usain Bolt’s record breaking career and decided that it wasn’t even worth attempting to beat him?

I don’t want to live in that world.

I’m so inspired by watching people push their own boundaries and I’m so grateful to these current Olympians who are willing to do it all in front of a global audience!

It all has me wondering where I’m still holding myself back. What am I not even trying because I’m not yet certain that I’ll succeed?

That’s the discomfort that I am currently choosing to sit in because I genuinely want to know the answers. But I wouldn’t be a very good coach if I didn’t invite you to do it with me.

Is there something that you are interested in but haven’t started yet because you’re not certain that you’ll succeed?

Is it possible that someone is waiting for you to be their example of what is possible (even if that someone is you)?

What if you were willing to be a beginner?

Belief

be·lief

noun

1. an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists

Over the past few years, I have adopted the tradition of choosing a word to focus on throughout each calendar year. Some of my recent words have been Simplify, Connection, and Intention. These words served me well by providing me with some extra focus and opportunity for introspection throughout the year.

For the coming year, I’ve chosen the word BELIEF.

When I sat down to ponder what word I could choose for my 2021 focus, this word came to me almost instantly. I knew instinctively that it was the perfect choice for the growth that I am seeking in the coming months, both personally and in my business.

Through my own self-coaching work, the coaching I have received from others, and the amazing clients that I have had the privilege of coaching over the last year, I have come to understand just how powerful our beliefs can be.

The beliefs we ascribe to, whether consciously or subconsciously, have a direct impact on how we experience the world, those around us, and ourselves.

In 2021, I want to be more intentional about my beliefs. I want to pull them out of the shadows and take a closer look at what they are and how they are impacting my life. I want to get better at choosing my beliefs intentionally. I want to root out the beliefs I have been carrying for years that are no longer in alignment with who I am aiming to become. In my relationships, my business, my religion, my motherhood, and every other aspect of my life, I am ready to start choosing beliefs that serve me. I am done living as a servant to the beliefs that have been offered to me by others.

Most of my current beliefs are nothing more than a collection of thoughts that I have been thinking on repeat for so long that I have begun to see them as fact. Some of these long held beliefs continue to serve me, but I have become increasingly aware of just how many of my beliefs have gone unexamined for too many years.

For example, here are just a few of the (mostly unconscious) beliefs that I have uncovered and worked to root out of my own thoughts over the last year or so:

• Martyrdom is a necessary part of motherhood.

• I am responsible for other people’s emotions.

• I am not a dog person (if you know, you know).

• I am capable of disappointing God.

• I need the approval of those around me.

• Certain parts of me are unlovable and need to be changed.

• If I could fail, I shouldn’t even try.

I am genuinely excited to focus on building a collection of very intentional beliefs in the coming year. I anticipate that it will be a journey filled with varying levels of discomfort and a strong dose of resistance from time to time. But I am also deeply encouraged by my newfound belief that everything I hope to have or become is on the other side of discomfort.

In the words of my mentor Brooke Castillo, “Discomfort is the currency of your dreams. The more uncomfortable you are willing to be, the closer your life will align to what you want it to be.”

If you are ready to step into the discomfort and empowerment that comes from examining your own beliefs and start taking ownership over what they are creating in your life, click here. I would be so honored to be your guide.

I can’t wait for you too see how incredible this journey can be!

Mothering with Grace

In my efforts towards living with more intention and purpose, I've spent a lot of time evaluating what my values and long-term goals are. In my motherhood, this has been especially true.

One thing I've definitely noticed is that when I'm only going through the motions--trying to simply get through the day or get to the next item on our agenda--then my main focus tends to be on my children's obedience. Stress levels are high, patience levels are low, and tension is often building. This is when I tend to be short, demanding, and easily frustrated with my kids. In these situations, my brain translates my children's slowness to obey into a reflection of their character. (i.e. "I told you to put your shoes on and get in the car! Why can't you listen? Now we're going to be late.") My focus here is situational and my feelings towards my child are dictated by one single thing he/she did or didn't do. This is not intentional parenting. It is also not a true reflection of what deeply matters to me or how I truly feel about my child.

Blind, swift obedience is not actually a character trait that I am trying to instill into my children. When I list the things that I most hope to cultivate in my future world shapers, obedience does not even make the list. So why then does obedience so often feel like the goal? For me, the answer is selfishness. My life is simply easier when they obey my commands immediately and exactly. But I don't want to be their drill sergeant. I want to be their biggest supporter, their confidant, their place of safety, and their teacher. But I teach nothing through demanding blind obedience and our relationship is not cultivated.

Do some things require strict obedience? Of course. Things like holding hands in a parking lot or crowded place; things pertaining to their physical safety. But even then, their obedience is garnered more effectively through a calm explanation of the reasoning than by forceful, demanding reminders of the rule. And most especially, their obedience is most quickly achieved when they understand that my requests are motivated by love.

As I was pondering this tendency of mine towards demanding obedience, I was reminded of my greatest example of an ideal parent-child relationship--the relationship I have with a Heavenly Father. Of all the parental examples I wish to emulate, this one reigns supreme. Does God demand my blind obedience or use threats and fear-mongering to motivate me to do exactly as he says? Absolutely not. He provides me with direction and explanation for his requests; all of which are motivated by His love for me. Even more importantly, He does not berate me or write me off as a failure when I fail to obey His loving direction. Rather, He allows me to learn from the experience and lovingly invites me to try again. He expects me to fail because He knows I am learning and He stands at the ready to forgive, forget, and continue to guide me in love.

These precious little souls that I am blessed to call my own are too often worthy of so much more than I have offered them. Obedience or not, I am striving daily to respond more to my children in the ways that my loving Father in Heaven is continually responding to me. Which is with grace, love, and confidence in who He knows I am capable of becoming.