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  • Writer's pictureNaomi

Updated: Jan 16, 2022

It came as a real shock to me when, after 30 revolutions around the sun, I finally realized that maybe happiness actually was NOT the point of my existence.

That might seem obvious to you, but for me it was pretty revelatory. After spending decades climbing my way out of depression on repeat only to find myself inevitably back in the same pit again, the concept that my depression did not mean that I was broken and entirely failing at life was an indescribable relief.

Somewhere along the path of human evolution, we were socialized to believe that emotions are either positive or negative, good or bad. We began to reduce our tolerance for the discomfort of “negative emotions” and began seeking “positive emotion” through almost any means necessary.

But what if ALL emotions are equally worth experiencing? What if life was meant to be 50/50 by design?

Experiencing what is hard, dark and uncomfortable in this life allows us to appreciate the good things so much more when they inevitably come along. It is impossible to selectively numb emotion, so when we block out what’s “negative,” we end up closing ourselves off to the “positive” as well. Having known utter numbness at times, I can tell you that I would much rather feel all of it than none of it!

I don’t want to waste any more of my short existence chasing after an unachievable goal of perfect, lasting happiness. I WANT THE WHOLE EXPERIENCE. I’ve known extreme happiness at times, but I have also known the depths of genuine despair. I can see immense value in what I learned from both experiences and I honestly wouldn’t trade either one. I want to experience the whole spectrum of emotion. I think that's what it takes to fully be alive.

Updated: Jan 16, 2022

I've spent most of my life chasing after happy. Thinking that happiness was the ever elusive cure for all of my other uncomfortable emotions. Assuming that finding my own version of happy would be the end to my ongoing depression and anxiety. As if happiness was nothing more than just the eternal absence of depression and anxiety.

Spoiler alert! Happiness is an emotion, which means it comes and goes just like every other emotion. So the problem in solely pursuing happiness was that I tried to block out all of the less desirable emotions along the way. The thing is, you can't selectively block emotions. To block out emotion is to become numb and you can't numb sadness without numbing joy. It's a slippery slope.

I'm finding that the key to embracing happiness is to actually make space for all of my other emotions in the process. I can bask in the happiness when it's present, but when it inevitably passes I must also give room to the less comfortable emotions that move in to fill that space. In time, I know that they will pass as well and leave more room to let some happiness back in.

Every emotion has value in my life and provides me with necessary information. I don't want to miss out on life by only chasing "happy."

... "Being fully human is not about feeling happy, it's about feeling everything.” - Glennon Doyle

As someone who has been on the receiving end of powerful coaching, I am a strong believer that EVERYONE NEEDS A LIFE COACH. Here’s why...

A couple of years ago, I basically hit rock bottom in my life. I was struggling to find joy in the mundanities of everyday motherhood. My marriage was feeling more like a business arrangement than a relationship. I found myself in the middle of a very disorienting spiritual crisis. I was fighting my way through depression and battling with daily anxiety and the occasional panic attack. I felt like my life had spiraled entirely out of my control. Not surprisingly, my attempts to improve life by trying to control the situations and people around me were getting me nowhere.

That’s when I stumbled across life coaching. Within a very short period of time, the tools I learned began to transform my life. I regained my confidence and let go of the belief that I was a victim to my circumstances. I learned how to love my husband without needing him to change. I no longer felt trapped in my motherhood and discovered how to enjoy my children again. My spiritual crisis became a beautiful opportunity for ongoing learning and transformation. Above all else, what I have gained from life coaching is an understanding that I have all the power over the life I am creating for myself everyday.

Because I believe deeply in sharing goodness, I decided to become a coach and share these life changing concepts with others. Through certification from The Life Coach School, I have received training from industry leaders in coaching tools that are based on the best cognitive-behavioral science available. I can offer you Causal Coaching; meaning that, rather than slapping a proverbial band-aid on your problems, I will help you get to the root cause behind the patterns in your life that are keeping you stuck and unhappy.

I would be honored to teach you the same impactful tools that are enabling me to reclaim my own power and step into the version of myself that I have always hoped to become. I don’t have the answers to all of your problems, but YOU do! I can help you unlock your own ability to create the life that you have always wanted for yourself.

The first session is always on me. Can't wait to see you inside!

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