I’ve recently been so aware of the apologetic nature of numerous conversations among my fellow moms. So many of these wonderful women, whom I love and respect for their individuality, seem so eager to apologize and justify away their every choice and mistake in motherhood. They are so anxious to compare their parenting choices with someone else’s, and I get it because I’m guilty of it too.
I think every one of us is just looking for external validation that we are “doing it right.” And the thing is… aren’t there a million different versions of doing motherhood the “right” way?!? I really think we overcomplicate the whole experience.
Do you love your child? Are you doing everything in your power to keep them safe and healthy? Are your parenting choices being influenced by loving concern for your child? Are you sometimes just doing what is best for you and them in that very moment? Well, then….
YOU ARE DOING IT RIGHT.
If you are the brand new mom barely home from the hospital with a fresh little bundle and wondering what those nurses were thinking letting you just walk away with a baby in your arms when you have no idea what on earth you are doing… sweet Mama, you are doing it right. You have everything it takes and you will figure it out!
If you are the mama with 3 under 5 and you constantly feel like it’s a battle just to keep everyone clean, fed, and frankly ALIVE by the end of each day… You are doing it right! Survival mode doesn’t last forever my friend, but it’s a completely legitimate phase of motherhood.
If you are the mother bringing your little guy back into the dentist for yet another cavity filling despite all of your brushing, flossing, and keeping candy to the minimum efforts… lady you are doing it right! Even with the best of efforts, some things with children simply cannot be avoided.
If you are the mama working from home, the one working outside your home, or the one “just” working as a homemaker…
If you are the mother at the drive-thru window, or the one planning daily 3-course meals…
If you are the mother reading all of the parenting books, or the one reading none of them...
MAMA, YOU ARE DOING IT RIGHT.
Let me tell you a secret. There is no one-size-fits-all answer. There is no universal instruction book for motherhood. If that mom next to you seems to have all the answers and suggestions for success, remember to take them with a grain of salt. What is right for her child may not be what works best for you and yours.
I am a firm believer that the only way to truly fail is to stop trying. Are you going to make mistakes--even major ones--in your motherhood journey? Abso-freakin-lutely.
But do you know what mistakes are? They are evidence that you are trying! More importantly, they are evidence that you are human.
At the end of the day, I assure you that your kids don’t need a “perfect” mom. What they do need is a perfect-for-them mom, and that is you, my friend. If you are simply showing up in your motherhood every day to the best of your ability and know-how, then I assure you…
YOU ARE DOING IT RIGHT.
Keep up the good work. You’ve got this, and those kids are the luckiest to have you!